Kennifer

Kennifer: Each of us has memories of 9-11 that are unique and personal. My memory is a painful one that I’ve shared with a few friends and I hope you don’t mind me sharing it with you. It’s a story about that day and my cousin Kenny and his wife Jennifer.

September 11th 2001: I was at home with my wife when my mom called to tell us about the first tower in New York being hit by a plane. We switched on the TV and watched numbly in disbelief along with millions of other Americans. Like everyone else here in America we were horrified as we watched the towers fall to the ground as people fled the scene in a state of panic.

Later that afternoon my mom called again and said that her sister Joanna had called and was worried that she hadn’t heard from her son Kenny that day, which was highly unusual. Kenny and his wife, Jennifer, were flight attendants for American Airlines and they were both working a flight headed from Dulles Airport to Los Angeles. My mom reassured her that they were fine and that the phone lines were jammed up and that they’d call soon enough.

Emotionally unable to call American Airlines herself my mom asked me to call and ask if they had any information about the two of them. I called and after a long wait to get through nervously asked about Kenny and Jennifer. The couple of minutes I waited for an answer were as long as any I’ve ever lived through. The answer I got made be jubilant. “There names aren’t on any of our lists”. I gleefully tried to get through to my mom and aunt by cell phone but without any luck.

Finally about an hour later I was able to get through to my mom to give her the fantastic news that they weren’t on the lists of the passengers on the flights that were hijacked that day. To my surprise my mom wasn’t excited to hear the news. She seemed skeptical for some reason and asked me to call the airline back to be sure they knew that they were both flight attendants.

I did call American Airlines again and fearfully asked if they would keep the names of flight attendants on a separate list. The woman answered in the affirmative. Trying to remain positive and hopeful even as my joy vanished I confidently gave the woman Kenny’s and Jennifer’s names. Within a few seconds she simply said “I’m very sorry”… changing our lives forever.

I called my mom to give her the news as I fought back the extreme sadness that I find myself fighting even as I write this. I offered to call my Aunt Joanna, but my mom said it would be better if she gave her the horrible news about her son and only child and his new bride Jennifer.

As the days passed and we learned more about the events of the day and about the beautiful couple Kenny and Jennifer had become the loss became even more magnified and unfortunately real.

They had met while working as flight attendants for American and had married a short time earlier. Although American had a policy of not allowing related flight attendants to work on the same flight they were allowed to because they were headed to California together to get started on a vacation they had planned for some time. The thought of them perishing together in this most unbelievable way is as comforting as it is horrifying. But I knew Kenny well and I’m certain he did everything in his power to keep Jennifer and the passengers as calm as possible even as their fate grew more apparent. Like my mom, my aunt, and the rest of the extended family in Farmville Kenny was quite religious and was no doubt gracious each minute of that flight to everyone on board including the terrorists.

Obviously I’ll never forget my cousin and his bride “Kennifer”. Nor will I ever forget the other victims and their families deeply affected by the events of that day. Finally, I want the men and women in our military to know how much their bravery and courage mean to me and our entire family. Their sacrifice and their families sacrifice has earned our undieing respect, as well as, taught the world a valuable lesson… an attack on any American is an attack on all Americans and we will stand up for our brothers and sisters.

Never forget.

Back to School Homework Tips

Homework season is back in full swing. Help your kids have a successful go of it by staying on top of their homework. Here are some tips for all parents and additional tips broken out by age group:

For all parents

• Dedicate a place in your home for each child where they can do their homework. This could be anything from a desk to space at  the kitchen table that they “own” during homework time.

• Shop together for homework supplies. Err on the side of having too many of something as opposed to not enough. You don’t need to go crazy and overspend, but be sure to have plenty of pencils, paper, and erasers.

• Make or buy an organizer if your child doesn’t get one from your school. Getting organized and getting in the habit of tracking daily (and long-term) homework is a key skill to teach your children. Start this at the beginning of their quarter or semester!

• Did you enjoy doing homework? Did you even do your homeowrk? Me neither! Your kids aren’t going to enjoy doing their homework either, but it should be clear looking back on your school years and grades that completing homework and staying on top of it went a long way towards determining your grades.

• It doesn’t matter if you forget everything you never wanted to know about algebra or some other subject from way back when. You need to be involved in helping your children get their homework completed as requested by their teachers.

• Try to be somewhere near your child during homework times. When they’re younger sit next to them and offer to help them. If you have bills to pay, or work you need to do, or some other project, do it while your child is doing their homework. This will help teach them everyone has homework—even adults. Your modeling teaches your child a lot about the importance and value of homework. Watching TV while they’re trying to study for school isn’t helpful.

For parents with children ages birth to 5

• Read aloud to your child every day—throughout the day. Although young children do not typically get “homework” (and developmentally, they shouldn’t), you can help keep them curious and learning by reading interesting picture books.
• Do something intellectually stimulating with your child every day. Go for a color walk where you look for specific colors, such as red, yellow, or blue. Bring in a snowball, or use an ice cube, and place it in a bowl for your child to see what happens as it melts. Visit a children’s museum.
• Remember to emphasize all parts of learning, not just memorization. Give kids time to practice cutting with child-size scissors, stringing large beads, drawing with crayons (or washable markers), jumping, running, and playing with other children. The kids who are most ready for kindergarten have been practicing all their skills: intellectual, social, emotional, and physical.

For parents with children ages 6 - 9

• Attend back-to-school events and open houses at the beginning of the year to learn what teachers expect for homework. Getting on the same page with the teacher right away will help you know how to support your child in getting homework done.
• When your child does not have homework, have your child do a different type of learning so that he or she gets used to learning something extra every day. This can be as simple as reading a book or researching together on the Internet to learn why birds fly south for the winter, or trying a new element of art, such as drawing a portrait of your family pet. A helpful Web site for ideas is HomeworkSpot.
• Whenever you help your child with homework, be sure that your child is doing the homework (and you are not). Your role is to ask questions, give examples, and assist your child in learning concepts, not give them the answers.

For parents with children ages 10 - 15

• At this age, kids often throw out the homework skills they’ve mastered. Unfortunately, too many try to throw out homework all together. Be firm that homework still needs to be done. If your child wants to do homework in front of the TV while listening to an MP3 player, allow it as long as your child completes homework well and does well in school. If grades start to slip, set new rules where your child needs to focus more on homework and less on other distractions.

• Negotiate times for your child to do his or her homework. Some want a break after school. If so, set a time limit. You may also need to set limits on other things as well to ensure that your child is getting homework done—and done well.

• Keep in touch with teachers about your child’s progress in school. Many schools now have Internet portals where you can access your child’s grades, assignments, attendance, and tardies. If so, check this weekly (if your child is doing well) or daily (if your child starts to slip).

For parents with children ages 16 - 18

• By this age, your teenager should have strong homework skills if you’ve been building them from an early age. However, some slip and others haven’t mastered certain skills. The biggest skill that many older teenagers often need is how to spread out long-term projects and how to study for major exams (such as the ACT, the SAT, AP and IB exams, and final exams). Pull out a calendar if your teen has trouble with this skill and have him or her break down these projects and test preparation into week-by-week (or day-by-day) chunks.

• Continue to offer your assistance for homework, but be clear about what you will and will not do. (Some parents end up pulling all nighters with their procrastinating teenager to help him or her get a project done.) One of the most helpful ways you can provide assistance is to proof papers and college essays. But work with your teenager to build in extra time for your feedback, in case you discover that the paper needs a heavy rewrite and not just a correction of a few typographical errors.

• Talk with high school counselors and teachers to create an academic schedule for your teenager from ninth to twelfth grade that challenges your teenager and deepens his or her skills. You want to keep your teenager growing (without boring or placing too much pressure on your teenager) so that he or she gradually masters skills to take the next step after high school.

(The inspiration for this post and source for the information above was MVParents. Some of it has been rewritten and some has not. If you’re not familiar with MVParents I recommend you visit their site and consider subscribing to their weekly email.)

Michael Phelp’s Dad

Imagine you’re Fred Phelps, Michael Phelp’s dad, watching your son break record after record at the Beijing Olympics on TV from your home near Baltimore. Imagine not picking up the phone to call and congratulate your son, the yound man you helped bring into this world. Hard to imagine, isn’t it?

Michael’s mom and dad divorced when he was 9 years old and sadly Fred Phelps has not maintained a relationship with Michael. No doubt this cold reality poured on young Michael each and every day from the time he was a young boy became an important ingredient in the fuel that drove him to the heights he has reached.

Love your kids dads, love your kids.

Source: Yahoo!

A Bronx Tale at Wadsworth Theatre in LA Sept 9-21

A Bronx Tale is a classic father-son story that will resonate with all dads. They’ve offered dadz.com readers a $10 off special to encourage you to take advantage of this great performance. Here are the details provided:

SAVE $10 ON SELECT SEATS & PERFORMANCES*

Academy Award®-nominated actor Chazz Palminteri returns to the stage in an unforgettable performance fresh from a successful run on Broadway, where it was praised by the critics and adored by the public. In A BRONX TALE, the celebrated play on which he based the legendary movie, Palminteri vividly depicts a young boy’s rough childhood in the 1960s-era Bronx and the unforgettable people he encountered. A classic coming-of-age story about reaching your true potential and trusting your heart, A BRONX TALE is directed by four-time Tony Award®-winner Jerry Zaks.

For your dadz.com $10 discount, visit this:
Ticketmaster link and enter promo code: GRTBRX

Performance Dates/Times at the Wadsworth Theatre

September 9 – 21, 2008

Tuesdays-Fridays at 8pm

Saturdays at 2pm and 8pm

Sundays at 3pm and 7:30pm

*Subject to Availability. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Not valid on previously purchased tickets. Restrictions apply. Ticketmaster fees apply to all orders.

Here’s a short (2 min) trailer from the movie:

Links to more information:

Summary of A Bronx Tale on the Internet Movie Database

A Bronx Tale on Broadway

If you’re fortunate enough to make it to this performance in September please send us a message with your thoughts on it!

Co-ed Baby Showers?

I’m just not sure about this one… a co-ed baby shower? This means that men are supposed to attend? Yikes!

The mom author of the Little Black Journal is a big fan of co-ed baby showers, but pay close attention to these comments made by Ms. Lil’ Black Journal in her post explaining why she’s a fan:

“let me tell you, there is no funnier sight than a group of blind-folded men try to fumble their way through putting a diaper on a stuffed animal”

and…

“the presence of men make for some good laughs”

So dads…, before you get snookered into attending one of these co-ed baby showers be advised that you are the comedy routine! If you go at least demand some compensation and/or full rights and control over any pics or video taken at the “baby shower”.

For more check out the post at Little Black Journal. (Hint: don’t dare give her your name or email address!)

Daddy’s Home - Meatloaf Launch

Another new Olympic event that moms and dads can excel at…

known as the Meatloaf Launch.

Blogging to Help Deal With Loss

There is definitely something comforting about posting about a lost loved one in cyberspace. For me, it feels almost as if the infinity of cyberspace is somehow reachable by the souls of the dead. It’s more likely that it’s like carving the name or initials of a lost loved one into a tree trunk. It won’t last forever, but it’s there for awhile for any stranger that stumbles across it to see and ponder.

Recently I added some YouTube video tributes for dads on Dadz TV. It was my way of acknowledging these dads and their family’s attempt to show their love and respect. I wish I could nothing but find these tributes and posts to help keep the memories of these lost dads alive.

Here’s a site I just stumbled upon that prompted me to write about this. It’s a site created to honor “Whale” Mark Presley Sr. This gentleman passed away on July 26th this year. Seems like the kind of guy we’d all want to know. Say a prayer for the Son of Whale and their family.

Bad Dads and Bicycle Helmets

Bicycle helmets have probably saved a lot of lives, but are dads that don’t require that their kids wear them “bad dads”? I suppose if their kid has a serious accident and sustains head injuries or worse, then yes, they’d be a bad dad.

But I grew up in a time when helmets weren’t even on the scene yet. I don’t recall anyone getting seriously injured (broken arms aren’t serious folks!) and I surely would have heard from my mom if she had any evidence for why we kids should be more careful.

Now motorcycles are a different story… a close friend of mine lost his brother due to a motorcycle accident and he wasn’t wearing a helmet.

I suppose there isn’t any harm in wearing a helmet so why not err on the side of caution and slap one of those doofy looking things on your kids head.

For an interesting post on this subject read ‘Bad Dad: Nostalgia Overcomes Common Sense‘ at Wired’s Blog Network.

Daddy’s Home - The Relay Race

The Run-for-the-door relay race…

is one of the most important. This is not a bus you want your kid to miss!

Home and Away - Math Lesson

Dads are masterful teachers aren’t they?

What are the odds he becomes the local elementary school’s math teacher?

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