Jeff Dunham and Peanut
March 2, 2008
Another hilarious sketch by Jeff Dunham. Peanut is absolutely hilarious with José, his co-star on a stick. The amount of practice “Je-fah-fah” must have put into this talent and these acts…!
Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist
March 2, 2008
My teens just ran downstairs to tell me about a funny video they came across. Always the last to know I think I was the 35,317,577th person to watch this. If you haven’t seen it I can tell you it’s worth it. Rate R and not for highly sensitive Muslims, Jews, or Catholics.
Applying for Social Security in Person
January 27, 2008
Anonymous author
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. So I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.” So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,” and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my pleasant experience at the Social Security office. She said,
“You should have dropped your pants… you might have gotten disability, too.”
The Husband Store in NYC
December 22, 2007
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City. Among
the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value
of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may
choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first
floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign
reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
“That’s nice”, she thinks, “but I want more.”
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good
Looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and
Help With Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help
with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the
sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store
just across the street.
The first floor has wives who love sex.
The second floor has wives who love sex and have money.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
Funniest Beer Ad Ever
December 7, 2007
All women click here: Women - Read no further! WARNING! This ad may only be viewed by men.
